A] Monitoring your own feelings and sensations
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to monitor my feelings? – To check if I feel good about my partner. Why do I need to feel good? – To know if I am with the right partner. Would I leave my partner under any circumstances? – No. So, is the answer really important? – No. So, is monitoring helpful? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that I may not be with the right partner. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to monitor my feelings and sensations by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not monitor and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that I was with the wrong partner, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
B] Researching and checking
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to research? – To know if what is happening to me is common or unique. Why do I need to know that? – So that it provides me relief to know that I am not alone. Does knowing that I am not alone make this go away or do I need to keep doing it all the time? – I do it all the time. So, is it helpful? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that I don’t want to be alone in this. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to research and check by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not research and check and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that the problem with my partner was unique and I could have escaped it, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
C] Comparison
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to compare? – To make sure that my partner is the best. Why should my partner be the best? – So that I do not feel like I am compromising in the relationship. Why do I not want to compromise in the relationship? – Because I want my brother to approve of my choice. If my brother does not approve of my choice, would I leave my partner in favor of someone else who seems better? – No. Does comparing help then? – No |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that my partner may not be the best. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to compare by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not compare and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that my brother does not approve of my choice, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
D] Reassurance seeking
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to seek reassurance? – To confirm what I am thinking is true. Why do I need to confirm that? – So that I do not make a mistake. Why must I not make a mistake? – So that I am 100% sure that I am in the right relationship. If I am not reassured about being in the right relationship, will I leave my partner? – No. So, is reassurance seeking helpful? – No |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that I may not be doing the right thing. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to seek reassurance by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not seek reassurance and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that I was not 100% sure about being in the right relationship, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
E] Neutralizing your thoughts
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to neutralize my thoughts? – Because I don’t want my thoughts to be true. Why do I not want my thoughts to be true? – As proof that I have not made a mistake. Does neutralizing help in providing that proof? – No. If I am not convinced about the correctness of my decision, will I leave my partner? – No. So, is neutralizing helpful? – No |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that I may not be with the right partner. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to neutralize my thoughts by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not neutralize my thoughts and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that I did make a mistake by being in the relationship, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
F] Post-facto rumination
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to ruminate after an event? – To see whether my partner reacted appropriately. Why is it important for my partner to react appropriately? – So that people do not look down upon me for being in the wrong relationship. If people look down upon me for being in the wrong relationship, would I leave my partner? No. So, does it help to engage in post-facto rumination? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that my partner did not behave appropriately. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to engage in post-facto rumination by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not ruminate post-facto and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that people looked down upon me for being with someone who does not behave appropriately, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
G] Attempt to change your partner
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to change my partner? – So that my partner fits in. Does my partner respond to such attempts well? – No. Even if my partner makes changes, am I happy? – No. If my partner does not make changes, am I considering leaving my partner? – No. Then are these attempts helpful? – No |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that my partner needs to make changes to fit in. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to force my partner to change by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not attempt to change my partner and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that my partner does not fit in, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
H] Avoidance
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to avoid? – Because if I face my triggers, it causes me anxiety. Does avoiding make the fear go away or just suppresses it? – Just suppresses it. If I accidentally come across a trigger that I have been avoiding, is my anxiety less or more? – More. So, will avoidance help me manage my anxiety in the long run? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is telling me to avoid anxiety. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to avoid by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not engage in avoidance and things go wrong, that is, I get triggered and am not able to handle my anxiety, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
I] Proxy compulsion
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to engage in proxy compulsion? – Because if I do it myself, I will be more anxious. Does that amount to avoidance? – Yes. Is avoidance good? – No. So, is proxy compulsion helpful? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that I cannot do things on my own. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to engage in proxy compulsion by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not engage in proxy compulsion and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that I am terribly anxious for doing things myself, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
J] Negative self-talk (NST)
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I engage in NST? Because I feel I make a lot of mistakes. Why do I feel I cannot make mistakes? – Because it would make me imperfect. What would being imperfect mean? – I would have low self-worth. Does NST help in make me feel worthy? – No. So, does NST help? – No |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that I make more mistakes than anyone else. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to engage in NST by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not engage in NST and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that I have indeed made more mistakes than other people, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
K] Distraction
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to distract my mind? – Because the obsessive thoughts cause me a lot of anxiety. Does that amount to an attempt at avoidance of thought? Yes. Is avoidance good? – No. So, is distraction going to help? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is telling me that I cannot handle the anxiety on my own. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to distract myself by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not distract myself and things go wrong, that is, I am massively triggered and anxious, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
L] Confession
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to confess to my partner? – Because I think I am being unfaithful otherwise. Does my partner appreciate my confessions? – No, we end up fighting more. Is it helping the relationship or worsening it? – Worsening it. So, is confessing helpful? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that I am unfaithful. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to confess by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not confess and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that I was being unfaithful, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
M] Stalking social media
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to stalk my partner’s social media accounts? – To find evidence that my partner does not love me. What evidence? – That my partner seems happy without us being in them together. Is that correct? – No but my mind tells me so. Should I believe what Kay tells then? – I should go with what I know. Is stalking social media helpful then? – No |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that my partner is unhappy with me. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to stalk my partner’s social media by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not stalk my partner’s social media and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that my partner was being unfaithful, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
N] Lashing out at partner
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to lash out at my partner? – Because I think my partner should respond to my texts immediately and the way I want her to. What does it mean to me if she doesn’t? – It probably means she is with someone else and happy without me. Is that the only explanation? – No but my mind says so. Should I believe what Kay tells me then? – I should go with what I know. Is lashing out at my partner working well for our relationship? – No, it isn’t |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that my partner is happy with someone else. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to lash out at my partner by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not lash out to keep my partner in check and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that she was indeed happier with someone else, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
O] Apologizing excessively
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to apologize? – Because I think I may have made a mistake and it will offend the other person. Why should my partner not be offended? – Because I do not want her to break ties with me. Would I break ties with her if the situation was reversed? – No. Do I have any indication that my partner intends to break ties with me if I do not apologize? – No. Does apologizing excessively help then? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that my partner may take offense if I do not apologize. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to apologize to my partner by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not apologize excessively and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that my partner did take offense, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
P] Pre-planning
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to pre-plan? – Because I may not be able to handle the triggering situation. Why do I need to handle the triggering situation? – So that I can minimize the anxiety. Is minimizing anxiety artificially the right thing to do? – No it isn’t. So, should I be trying to minimize the anxiety artificially? – No. Does that mean that pre-planning is helpful? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that I may not be able to handle the anxiety. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to pre-plan for a situation by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not seek reassurance and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that I was not able to handle the anxiety, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
Q] Monitoring partner’s feelings and behavior
| 1 | Rationalization (Non-Triggered State) | Why do I need to monitor my partner’s feelings and behavior? – Because I may be upsetting my partner when I am triggered. Why don’t I want to upset my partner? – So that my partner does not leave me. Would I break ties with my partner if she was triggered and apprehensive about breaking ties with me? – No. Does that mean that the monitoring my partner’s feelings and behavior is needed? – No. |
| 2 | Mindful Acceptance of ROCD (Triggered State) | I have ROCD. These thoughts are my ROCD thoughts. I am okay with getting these obsessive thoughts. These thoughts also seem real, which is okay too. |
| 3 | Distancing from the Obsession (Triggered State) | This is Kay’s deviousness. Kay is asking me to give meaning to the obsession that my partner may leave me if she sees me so triggered. Kay always lies to me and is only interested in making my life miserable. |
| 4 | Distancing from the Compulsion (Triggered State) | I am being given the urge to monitor my partner’s feelings and behavior by Kay and I will not do the compulsion. |
| 5 | Response Prevention (Triggered State) | If I do not monitor my partner’s feelings and behavior and things go wrong, that is, I realize later that my partner does leave me seeing me so triggered, I will handle it then. I will not dwell on it now |
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